A Happy Person Is Cheerful and Pleasant

A statement I agree with.

Genuine happiness can be felt. It isn't one moment—it's a state someone settles into over time, one that can be intentionally and mindfully cultivated. Some people live this way without understanding how they choose it. What a gift! Life happens, emotions flow, but to rest in happiness is pleasant for everyone around.

"We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same."
— Carlos Castaneda

This quote showed up in my morning today. I had a reaction—and this is my response.

I don't fully agree. Yes, we do play a role in making ourselves happy or miserable. But I didn't have awareness of my own power to create my state of being until recently, and I'm 48 years old.

I do believe this is a wonderful quote to meditate on, to be curious about, to take inward and wonder: What is my own inner world of emotions and thoughts really like?

As children, we're at the mercy of the adults around us and the environment we're born into. We learn from it. We develop thought patterns and emotional habits from it. For this reason, I disagree with the quote—at least in part. The world and outer circumstances shape us first. Only when we gain awareness of our power to choose, to really choose, does the quote start to ring true.

Because of my own inner suffering—emotional patterns I absorbed through family, church, school, and society—I disagree that the work is the same. I wasn't born choosing misery. I didn't sign up for insecurity or fear as a child in school. In my early twenties, I didn't ask for emotional suffering. Yet I experienced it.

But I was observant. I was curious. I noticed a certain confidence and strength in women over 40. I paid attention and said, "Wow, something amazing is going to happen when I turn 40!" That became my mantra through my thirties. I was smart enough to know I had to learn and do my part for the "amazing," whatever that would look like for me.

I was intrigued by Joyce Meyer's show, Enjoying Everyday Life. I thought, Wait—that's a way I could live? Let me learn! And learning I am.

I discovered teachers sharing how to change and transform thought patterns and emotional habits that disrupt happiness and joyful living. It has been work for me to learn new ways of thinking and feeling. The work continues today. My awareness of myself continues to grow.

In some ways, it felt easier to stay ignorant of the "worthy work" of cultivating happiness. Because it is work. Choosing misery didn't feel like effort at the time. But it was uncomfortable enough to make me want to show up and learn the how of happiness.

This is my story. This is my experience. And I hope I've communicated why I reacted to this quote the way I did. I could go on, but I'll save more stories and lessons for future posts.

Happy Monday!
May 4th, 2026